Unfriendliness

Overcoming Sin through Christ

Unfriendliness

Virtually everyone enjoys meeting and conversing with an outgoing, friendly, amiable person.  But who would enjoy talking with a mean, gruff, negative, and unfriendly man or woman?  Friendly is defined as “favorably disposed; not antagonistic. . . . warm; comforting.”[1]  It can mean, “characteristic of or befitting a friend. . . . like a friend; kind; helpful. . . . favorably disposed; inclined to approve, help, or support.”[2]  Friendliness would have such synonyms as kindly, helpful, well-disposed, amiable, neighborly, amicable, loving, affectionate, kindhearted, cordial, genial, warmhearted, gracious, and generous.[3]  Just to say or read these words, we receive the impression that we are describing what a true Christian should be!

We are not using this term to mean that we should be “friends” with unbelievers and those in outright sin.  Christians are warned to “not be bound together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14; cf. vv. 14-18), for “bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).  Scripture is clear that “the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20) and the Christian is not to “associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man” (Proverbs 22:24-25).  Thus, by friendliness we are not speaking of having unbelievers as close friends—if we mean persons with whom we share our life, our interests, our intimate thoughts, and our close fellowship.

On the other hand, we use friendly in the sense used in the definitions above.  The Christian is to be warm, comforting, kind, helpful, and offer support to others.  We should be outgoing and not closed; we should be interested in others and not just our own needs; we should be helpful and not selfish.  Paul says, “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).

We should wear a smile on our face since a smile indicates a warm and outgoing attitude.  We should openly greet others with a cheerful, “Good morning!” or “How are you doing today?” or “How is your health?” or “May God give you a blessed day!”  This friendly, warm, and cheerful attitude will display Christian graces to the other person so they will know you are genuine, sincere, and loving to one and all.  Even if you don’t know a person, you can smile at them and greet them.  Southerners are generally known as “friendly” people, especially those in rural areas, but the Christian should have an even greater reputation of being friendly in his attitude and demeanor.

Have you read the account of Ruth and Naomi?  The record says that Boaz called out to his reapers, “May the LORD be with you.” And they said in return, “May the LORD bless you” (Ruth 2:4).  This is the expression of friendliness.  It displays a kind regard and thoughtful spirit, and genuine interest and love in the other person. We too need to have such a friendly attitude toward others!

Unfriendliness would be the very opposite of this.  It means that a person is not outgoing or kind toward others.  He may not smile at others or even look at them.  He may not greet or say anything at all to them.  He may not even be interested in others and their needs.  Some of the synonyms to this unfriendly attitude would be belligerent, hostile, and contentious.  It would include unkindness, uncharitableness, meanness, and cruelty.  However, that attitude may be too extreme.  Actually, unfriendliness is simply the attitude that doesn’t love others and doesn’t show an interest in them.  An unfriendliness attitude is a sinful and selfish attitude and we must totally renounce it.

 

[1] The American Heritage College Dictionary.

[2] Random House Webster’s College Dictionary.

[3] Family Word Finder.