The Name of the Wife

Richard Hollerman

Have you noticed, as I have, that there are more and more women who retain their maiden names? We know that there are various other cultures in the world and each has a different practice. We don’t want to denigrate these nations for there may be a legitimate place for some differences. But we are now referring to American, Europe, and other such countries. As you know, a woman is born and has her father’s name.

An example of this might be Mary Smith. In this case, Mary would be considered the “given name” that is given by the father or mother or both at the time of the girl’s birth. Then when she marries, she takes the husband’s last name. Of course, in Biblical times (perhaps 2,000 years ago), we know that the girl might get married about age 13, 14, or 15 years. In America, this might be somewhere between age 16 and perhaps 25 or later. So the Mary Smith might become Mary Jones (or whatever her new husband’s last name might be). Other nations might have different practices, so we are referring only to the United States, Europe, and so forth.

But during the last few years we find a different practice developing—to Americans and not particularly to immigrants. And by “few” we may mean 10, 20, or even 30 years. By this we mean that a woman who marries (Mary Smith) may not take the name of her new husband (and thus her name would not be Mary Jones) but another practice may prevail. The woman (Mary) may retain her maiden name, thus she continues to be called Mary Smith even after marriage. Or she may take her own name and she also takes the name of her new husband (thus her name would be Mary Smith-Jones).

There are other variations of this practice but generally we think that this may reflect a certain “Feministic” perspective. Again, we don’t refer to someone in other countries (such as Africa, the Near East, the Far East, or other such places) but we are only referring to “Western” or “Westernized” countries. In America (at least in the past) this would definitely be considered a “feministic” view and with this radical and liberal view, there would be no problem with a woman taking this feministic practice.

We realize that there is nothing in the Bible that clearly and unambiguously says that this may be so, but we are merely referring to the traditional practice in western countries. Generally, the woman of marriageable age who weds would take her name and change it to the name of her new husband.

The question that we might have would refer to this practice—that surely must be considered feministic in perspective. Why would any woman want to use such a practice? Does she not love her husband? Is she is so wedded to the world that she insists on following the worldly ways around her? I wonder.

It may be that this pertains to a certain ethnic culture, but, no, we haven’t seen this. This is found in the white culture, the black culture, the Latino culture, the Indian culture, and others. Thus, this practice must not be limited to a certain group of people. Does it pertain to only the college-educated or the non-college-educated women? Does it pertain only to those women who have had terrible experiences with their past? We don’t know that any of this is so, although probably this accounts for some of this “feministic” attitude.

Does it apply to any particular religion? Again, this may be a small part of the background for we think that it is more prevalent among the non-religionist rather than those outspoken in their Christian commitment. Probably the latter allow Christianity and the Bible to have more bearing on their choices rather than others. It must be related to people who are more influenced by their friends and others in their circles rather than those dominated by Christian convictions. But, again, this is not the whole story.

Whatever the reason and whatever the background, we encourage all of our readers to adhere to Biblical norms. Although we have been referring to women in this article, we know that there are many men who may not be “feministic” but who may be evil already or in some other way. And we don’t mean merely sodomites or homosexuals but to all men. All need to submit to Scripture and seek to know the mind of God in this and in all areas.

We encourage you to look to the Lord in all areas of your life. If you are a woman, begin to live in submission to your husband and seek to be an obedient wife. If you are a man, seek to be a responsible, caring, and loving husband. And both of you seek to please God in all ways—including your relationship with the opposite sex. In this we may please God.