The Far-Reaching Effects of Adultery

Richard Hollerman

Isn’t it amazing how superficially people view their own sins? They may condemn others for their offenses but when it comes to their own sins, they somehow manage to minimize them or make excuses.

This reminds us of the child who is being reprimanded but then he points to his little brother and blames him. He is able to shirk off personal responsibility by accusing another.

There are people who do something similar.  If a husband is unfaithful to his wife by committing adultery, he may blame the wife. “She made me do this! She was unloving and unresponsive. She didn’t appreciate me or the work I do!” Instead of accepting his own guilt that adultery surely brings, he refuses to shoulder the blame. He accuses another!

When we look at Scripture, we see something far different. We see God’s perspective on the sin of adultery and every other sin. God has a way of delving below the surface and touching the inner essence of the sin, the guilt, and the way of salvation.

We may remember the tragic situation that developed in David’s life. Do you recall how he called for Bathsheba and committed adultery with her? (Today this is passed off as a “one night stand” or a loving “affair” rather than a grievous sin of adultery.) In order to cover his tracks, David had her husband, Uriah, murdered. Thus, David was guilty of adultery, deception, lying, murder, and assorted other sins (2 Samuel 11).

Nathan the prophet came to the King and confronted him directly about his sin (2 Samuel 12). The prophet asked, “Why have you despised the word of the LORD by doing evil in His sight?” (v. 9a). He went on to explain, “You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword, have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the sons of Ammon” (v. 9b). David was brought face to face with his sins. Nathan brought up a further aspect of David’s guilt: “Because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die” (v. 14).

Because of Nathan’s parable (2 Samuel 12:1-4), David was brought to a sincere repentance. He confessed, “I have sinned against the LORD.” The prophet responded, “The LORD also has taken away your sin, you shall not die” (v. 13). God calls on the adulterer to repent and confess the sin of adultery to God. Many Bible students think that David’s repentant attitude is reflected in Psalm 51 (which I encourage you to read now).  David, in guilt and grief, admitted to God, “Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (v. 4a). He recognized that our sin is fundamentally against God Himself.  He sought forgiveness from the Lord against whom he had sinned. Bible students sometimes suggest that Psalm 32 reflects David’s praise of God in light of his forgiveness of this adultery.

But let’s discuss this a bit further. Not only did David sin against God, there were other sins committed.  The same is true today. When a man sins by committing adultery with a woman not his wife, he also sins against the woman herself. He abuses her and uses her as an object of lust. Surely the guilty adulterer would need to confess his sin of selfishness to her, personally.

Next, the adulterer also sins against the husband of the woman with whom he commits adultery. The husband, in a sense, “owns” his wife and is grievously offended by such a sin against this wife. When Paul discusses the sin of fornication (and adultery would be one form of fornication), he says, “. . . that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things” (1 Thessalonians 4:6a). This probably is a reference to the partner of the woman he commits adultery with.  (All of this would be reversed if we were to speak about a wife who commits adultery against her husband.)

The Lord Jesus refers to one who divorces his or her mate and then marries another person. Notice how He puts it: “Whoever divorces is wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her, and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery” (Mark 10:11-12). This shows that it is possible for a man to commit adultery “against” his wife, and it is likewise possible for a woman to commit adultery “against” her husband.

In our day, this sin of “married adultery” is committed by millions upon millions of couples. For instance, if a man “falls out of love” for his wife, or concludes that he “married the wrong person,” or simply decides that he “loves” a woman on the job or one who lives next door, he may choose to divorce is legitimate wife. He then will probably marry another woman. And the result? He commits adultery against his first wife. “Whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). Jesus also declared, “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery” (Luke 16:18; cf. Romans 7:2-3). A hundred years ago, when divorce was rare, it seems that most people knew that wrongful divorce and remarriage would result in adultery, but it would seem that people are unconcerned about this dreadful consequence!

What about the children?  Surely the children are affected in an adulterous relationship (or “affair” as it is described today).  A man who commits adultery with a woman also sins against her children. Those children deserve a faithful mother, just as a man deserves a faithful wife. The children involved in an adulterous relationship are sinned against by the adulterer. Their lives can be greatly affected when they know that their own mother was involved in an immoral alliance with another man, other than their father. (The adulteress also commits sin against her husband and children.)

Suppose that a man who is married commits adultery by having a sexual relationship with a single woman. In this case, he doesn’t commit a sin against the woman’s husband, for she doesn’t have one. However, surely there is some sort of guilt involved in having sex with a woman and defiling her.  This will mean that if she ever does choose to get married (providing she is eligible), she has sinned against her future husband. Such a husband deserved and surely wanted a wife who has been untouched and undefiled. Instead, she has been unfaithful to him (her future husband) and even the children that he would eventually have. We can see that adultery does have far-reaching consequences!

If the adulterer is a Christian and part of the body of Christ, he sins against this body of believers when he sins against his sexual partner and God. You will remember that Paul makes reference to a brother who was disciplined by the Corinthian assembly (2 Corinthians 2:5-11). Whether this is the fornicator mentioned in 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 (as many assume), or another brother, apparently this man had come to repentance.

Therefore, Paul writes, “Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Corinthians 2:6-7). Assuming that it was the fornicator, this would show that he had not only sinned against God and against his sexual partner, but also against the congregation. Thus, Paul tells the assembly to “forgive” this repentant man.

An adulterer also sins against his own wife.  When two people marry, they commit themselves in a holy covenant to remain true to each other for life. God says that a wife is a “companion” and “wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14). When a husband commits adultery against this God-given wife, he deals “treacherously” (vv. 14, 16). Friend, does this describe your situation? This is the woman who was willing to trust you and commit herself to you. If you were to betray this trust by having an alliance with another woman, surely this would be a grievous sin, one that would require her forgiveness if you should choose to repent and confess your waywardness to her.

A man would not only sin against his wife, but he would sin against his children. One’s children have been given by the Lord to give discipline and to impart the “instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). It should be the sincere purpose of any father to provide a worthy example of commitment, life, and devoted faithfulness to his sons and daughters. Our example before our children includes our speech, conduct, love, faith and purity (cf. 1 Timothy 4:12; cf. Titus 2:7). If a father is unfaithful to his wife, he is unfaithful to his children’s mother! Instead of providing an excellent example of Christian husbandly faithfulness, such a father would provide an unworthy, harmful and destructive example. Surely he sins against his children in this and must seek their forgiveness.

The adulterer also sins against others when he falls into sexual unfaithfulness. The Christian is to be an example before a watching world but if he commits adultery, he has seriously failed in this matter. God has given him the task of sharing the good news of Christ with the lost but if he has committed adultery, how will his reaching the sinner be accomplished?

The Christian man (and woman) must be on guard against any compromise before others. Peter emphasizes this in his first letter: “Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:11-12). If he commits adultery, he falls prey to “fleshly lusts” and his behavior is not “excellent.”

Further, there would be grounds for their slander against the Christian as an “evildoer” rather than one who consistently does good. Peter continues, “Such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men” (v. 15; cf. 3:16). The Christian must live an excellent, pure, and blameless life before outsiders—those outside the body of Christ.

We must not forget that basic in one’s act of adultery would be a grievous sin against the Lord Jesus. We know that Christ died for our sins (1 Corinthians 15:3; 1 Peter 2:24; 3:18). He was willing to suffer in the garden and in an even greater way when he hung on the cross and bore your sins and mine. If we choose to sin against the Lord by being unfaithful to our wife, we despise His suffering and death. We treat it with contempt and show ingratitude for His self-giving sacrifice.

Last, we know that when one commits adultery, he sins against his own body. In 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, Paul warns against committing fornication with a prostitute but what he says has a direct bearing on one’s committing adultery against his wife.  Notice Paul’s reasoning.

How can we take away “the members of Christ” and make them members of another woman (v. 15)? One who commits adultery is “one body” with the adulteress (v. 16). The Christian male must “flee immorality” or flee adultery. Paul says that “the immoral man sins against his own body” (v. 18). He sins against himself when he commits adultery with another woman. The Christian defiles “the temple of the Holy Spirit”—which is his physical body (v. 19a). Since the Christian doesn’t belong to himself, he sins against God, his owner (v. 19b). We are to “glorify God” in our body, but if we commit adultery with another person, we surely sin against the Lord who owns our body and has given instruction on how to use our body for His purposes. Here are multiple reasons to avoid an adulterous relationship!

All of this discussion should show that we not only sin against other people, against God, and against the Lord Jesus, but we also sin against ourselves, our own body. Adultery is not a simple sin but one that has many facets. How many people who commit this sin think about how extensively they fail the Lord?

The Book of Proverbs has much to say about adultery. We read that “the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother is oil is her speech” (5:3). She is “bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword” (v. 4).  “Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol” (v. 5). Solomon says, “Keep your way far from her. And do not go near the door of her house” (v. 8). In graphic detail, the writer shows the folly of falling for an adulteress (vv. 15-23).

Solomon continues by saying that the “reproofs for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her catch you with her eyelids” (6:23-25). He says that “an adulteress hunts for the precious life” (v. 26), and one who touches such an adulteress “will not go unpunished” (v. 29). When you have time, read Proverbs 5-7 for a fuller description of adultery and the folly of falling for this sin.

We can see that there are many “far-reaching effects of adultery” and must earnestly strive to avoid falling for this sin and anything like it.  For example, the pure and devoted Christian man must avoid any contact with pornography (whether in print or online) for this involves “mental” adultery. The Lord Jesus makes this clear: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).

In order to emphasize how crucial it is that we avoid adultery, the Lord continued: “If you right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.  If you right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30). Whatever it takes to avoid adultery of the mind or heart or body, be willing to sacrifice it all to remain pure!

This sin of mental adultery is surely a sin against God, against oneself, and against one’s wife.  A man must avoid reading literature dealing with adultery, watching movies that promote adultery, or making jokes about adultery with his fellow-workers. The word of God says, “Abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22; cf. Ephesians 5:3-7). Paul writes, “Flee immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18a). In other words, run from fornication, from adultery, from sodomy, and from anything like these sexual sins.

If you have fallen into the sin of adultery, you need to deeply repent of this grievous sin and confess it to those involved—especially your wife.  But you must also confess your sexual sin to your children, your adulteress partner, your partner’s husband, your fellow-believers, and everyone else involved in this shameful relationship. Especially, you need to seek God’s forgiveness through Christ Jesus (cf. Psalm 51:4; 1 John 1:7).

If you have never come to Christ for His forgiveness, your priority must be to seek His cleansing of all your sins—sins of a lifetime. No unrepentant adulterer can inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). God will judge the fornicator and the adulterer (Hebrews 13:4), and all of those guilty of unrepentant sexual sin will be thrown into the lake of fire for eternity (Revelation 21:8).

The good news is that God will wipe away every last sin on your record, including those sins related to adultery, if you are willing to repent and seek His forgiveness.  Some at Corinth had been adulterers (and had committed many other sins), but God was willing to accept them: “Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11; cf. Colossians 3:5-7). This can be true of you!

I urge you to repent of this sin and seek forgiveness from God and from those others you have grievously offended. You can begin life anew if you come to God through the Lord Jesus (cf. 2 Corinthians 5:17). Won’t you come today!