Seeking God

My Life through the Years

Part 25

Eventually people came to see that I was encouraging full obedience, including baptism, but most of them didn’t want this or were more interested in continuing with a certain religious organization. When they came to this conclusion, they went their way and I was left alone. Then a friend had visited a home group south of Dallas, Texas, and I was with this group for some months. There was singing, Bible study, and discussions. Then the leader (who later fell into extensive adultery!) chose to exclude me and I think there were a couple of others also excluded. We went our way. This group wanted to move to Tennessee but a couple of the others went into adultery too. (It is amazing how this sin attracts people.)

As I look back at this group, I must confess that these were gracious people and they seemed to want to be only Christians. Some of them had families and all were home schooled. Yet, as I was excluded (mentioned above), I discovered that not all held the same moral standards. A leading woman (with a couple of children) divorced and remarried. Another family who seemed to b conservative in some ways eventually divorced then remarried. Even the “leader” who was opposed to divorce chose to divorce and then remarried. Perhaps there were others? This was quite grieving but humanity is often more important (to some) than spirituality.

I suppose that more could be said but eventually I moved to a house not far away. This is not at all what I wanted. You do know that I wanted a house far from the city where there would be room for hospitality (Romans 12:13), and for raising a family. At this time I still hoped that God would provide this—a place for meetings, for hospitality, for children to play and work, for people to live, and so much more. (Please see my description earlier.) But apparently God had other plans. Eventually, I was about 58 years old and I was living in a three room apartment in an area where I didn’t want to live. But what else was I to do?

These years were difficult ones, as I said before. God had not provided the answer to my “dreams” as I mentioned. But why? I sought to be as faithful to Him and His will as I could, but still there was no answer. I remained without a house, without a good car, without a wife, without a family, without a good job, without a group of teachable people, without fellowship, without a place to be active, without so much that had been in my “dream” of many years before.

We only live this life one time but it seemed that this time was going by so quickly. It was not impossible to fulfill my dream of years earlier. I was no longer a young man of twenty or even thirty. And my years of age forty and fifty were now gone. I was 58 with virtually nothing. Yes, I did have many file cabinets and much literature and many books (all of this in the 30-foot storage place), but they were virtually inaccessible.

I earnestly sought God for His help and deliverance. I wanted my life to count for the Lord in every way but how could this be fulfilled now, at my age and in my circumstances? At this time, we must continue our account the next time. Please join us!