Pointers for Husbands

God’s Instructions for Men

Richard Hollerman

We all know that there are many ungodly men in this world. We refer to men living around the world—including Italy, Germany, England, and Spain, as well as South Africa, Egypt, Ethiopia, and Algeria. We might also include Taiwan, Russia, India, and China—as well as the United States and many Western nations. These and many other countries are filled with hundreds of millions of men (males) who have little or no regard for Scriptural mandates.

However, men with the Holy Spirit dwelling in them have an advantage. Without Scripture, men are left with their own rationale. But with the Spirit, they have fruit in their lives that can transform them from inside out! Please see Galatians 5:22-23.

When a person turns to the Lord, he is given the “gift” of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:38). The Spirit is “given to those who obey Him” (Acts 5:32). Further, the Spirit is at work in the heart and life of men who have their mind “set on the Spirit” are at a great advantage. And with this comes “life and peace” (Romans 8:6; cf. 8:4-17). The “Holy Spirit of promise” is given to the person who gives His life to the Lord and lives fully for Him (cf. Ephesians 1:13-14). This life in the Spirit is something that every man should seek!

Are you a man? A male? Further, are you a man who is indwelt by the Spirit of God? God has good news for you and wants to lead you to every-higher levels of maturity and spirituality. Does this appeal to you? We know that many men have no interest in such activity, but the man who is filled with the Holy Spirit is very much desirous of a closer walk with God—something that comes only when we yield our lives to God our Father!

We are not speaking just here about men in general but those men who have a wife and want to relate to her as God would want. What are some of the ingredients of our life in the Spirit that seeks to relate to your wife in a godly and Biblical way!

First, as expected, we must love our wives. Of course, this is speaking of an outgoing love that seeks her wellbeing (Ephesians 5:22-33). Let love be your ultimate passion!

Second, you need to provide for your wife. We don’t mean an abundance, far more than is needed, but sufficient to live. And, of course, provide for your children (1 Timothy 5:8).

Third, you need to guide and instruct your wife (and children—Ephesians 6:4). Although spoken to overseers, there is much good instruction for us at 1 Timothy 3:4-5; cf. 1-7).

Fourth, you need to instruct your own wife, patiently and carefully. Remember that you and your wife are works in progress, thus you need her help and she needs yours. (1 Peter 3:7).

Fifth, it is always needful to protect your wife. Obviously, we need to protect them physically but I especially have their spiritual protection in mind. There are so many false teachers who are just waiting to pounce on unsuspecting women (and men) that we must beware and protect them as God would want (Matthew 7:15-20).

Sixth, you need to bless your wife in every way possible. There is so much that this means, but surely we must keep a wife from sexual compromise—that may come from books, from the media, from magazines, and from advances from other men and in other ways (Romans 12:1-2; 1 Peter 2:11).

Seventh, you must always be faithful to your wife. We speak of sexual compromise here but this faithfulness must be in every realm. Your wife needs a husband who will not compromise his integrity, his truth, his sexuality, and his faithfulness!

Eighth, your wife needs to relate to a larger assembly of brothers and sisters. We know that this is difficult in our day of compromise and worldliness, but seek to bring faithful, godly, pure, and zealous sisters into her life—as well as men (Hebrews 3:13; 10:24-25).

Ninth, be personally responsible yourself to read, study, memorize, remember, and apply God’s Word. This will make you able to be a true husband, capable of being what God wants you to be!

Tenth, be unselfish in all of your dealings with your wife. Selfishness is the common trait of most men, but you must be different—unselfish, giving, kind, and true in all you do. We must never live for ourselves but for Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

We hope that some of these very simple comments can find a place in your own life and relationship with your wife. She depends on you, she needs you, and she cares for you! Be a Christ-like example before her!

(Note: We realize that many professing Christian men are married to a wife or a wife is married to a man—one who falls into the prohibitions of Scripture. I refer to such places as Matthew 5:31-32; 19:9-12; Mark 10:11-12; etc. Our intention with these present remarks is meant to emphasize those ten different aspects of dealing with your wife. There are many other articles on this website that deal with adulterous relationships and how to escape from them.)