Marriage and its Bizarre Variations
Richard Hollerman
As we go to the issue of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, we find various startling statistics. Notice this information:
Only 29% of previously married adults ages 18 to 24 (admittedly a small group) had remarried in 2013, compared with 67% of those ages 55 to 64.( https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/11/14/chapter-2-the-demographics-of-remarriage/). This shows the huge number of people who come to our attention as we examine this.
We further notice this: “But the likelihood of having remarried has dropped sharply for those younger than 35. Among the small group of young adults who had already exited their first marriage, fully 72% had remarried by 1960. In 2013, only 42% of young adults who had been divorced or widowed had remarried.” (Ibid). Keep in mind that the 72% and the 42% mentioned above are generally all adulterous. Thus there are many couples in America that are living in adultery.
In some respects we find the further information here to be sad. This is what I mean:
In 2013, two-thirds (67%) of previously married adults ages 55 to 64 had remarried, up from 55% in 1960. And 50% of adults ages 65 and older had remarried, up from just 34% in 1960. These increases may in part be fueled by rising life expectancies. Some suggest that longer lifespans have contributed to increasing divorce at older ages as people realize they have many more years to live and want to find fulfillment in that extra time. The same factor may be contributing to increases in remarriage among older adults. (Ibid)
We find in these comments that some people, even in older age, choose to remarry. Why? Because they want to find “fulfillment” in their latter years. Yet we ask, why do something that will bring eternity in hell just to find some “fulfillment” in life? This makes no sense at all. Further, it may also show that many seem to not really accept what God has revealed in Scripture. How sad.
We may supplement this with further information regarding remarriage of those who have divorced (but this would also include widows and widowers):
Among those eligible to remarry—adults whose first marriage ended in divorce or widowhood—men are much more likely than women to have taken the plunge again. In 2013, some 64% of eligible men had remarried, compared with 52% of women.
Perhaps it would be good to refer to those married more than twice. The information that we’ve found calls this “serial marriages.” This is what we find in today’s world:
Among newly married adults in 2013 (those who had wed in the past 12 months), 29% had been married at least once before, and 8% had been married two or more times previously. Older newlyweds are among those most likely to be entering their third marriage. Fully 33% of those ages 55 and older fall into this category, as do 25% of those ages 45 to 54. (Ibid)
This information makes sad reading. (See https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/11/14/chapter-2-the-demographics-of-remarriage/)
First, we must deal with the United States and this is what we find:
Divorce Rates in America
- The current divorce rate in the US is 2.9 persons per 1,000 people.
- Overall, the rate of divorces in America is falling.
- Divorces amongst people aged 50+ years is rising.
- Fewer couples choose to marry than pre-1990.
- The U.S. divorce rate is amongst one of the highest in the world.
- There are currently over 750,000 divorces in the U.S. each year.
- Most Americans who file for divorce do so between January and March.
As we view these figures, we find various findings. We know that 2.9 or 3.0 percent per 1,000 does seem to be low, and the fact that divorce in America falling, this is somewhat hopeful. However, these same statistics say that among older folks, divorce is rising. Generally at that age, the divorce is not at all legitimate or right (1 Corinthians 7). But the next fact is sad and that is that couples (men and women together) are choosing not to marry at all. They are just having sex between themselves without the benefit of marriage!
As we continue to peruse these figures, we see that the divorce rate in the United States is among the highest in the world! Thus, we find that there are 750,000 divorces each year. As I recall, there are some 5 million marriages, thus, some 1,500,000 divorces would be quite high!
As we continue our research, we find this:
1.While we may view the marriage rates, let’s remember that many couples live together and have a sexual relationship without marriage
- We also must remember that at least some of those who are married will divorce and then remarry, thus committing adultery
- Some of those who are married are engaged in an adulterous union with a person other than his or her spouse.
- We also might want to keep in mind that most of those married are not believers or Christians, thus their relationship may have certain carnal elements common to unbelievers—such as anger, bitterness, lying, deception, and the like.
- It would also be good to remember that the “context” of these ungodly “marriages” (even if they are legitimate) are problematic: Some of them are totally without a Biblical foundation. (For example, some refuse to have children. Others may have “mismatched” marriages—e.g., a true believer married to a false “Christian” or to a totally unsaved person or we may find a husband who is married to a feminist wife or a wife married to an irresponsible husband.)
- Two persons of the same gender may be “married”—e.g., two men or two women united in a carnal.
- A few may be “trans” or “transgender”—a man impersonating a woman and vice versa.
- Even while they are living together or assuming to be “married,” it is possible for a couple to not be Biblically “married” at all.
- We know that there are some “couples” (men and women) who do live together and have sex but are not even married. In other words, they are “living in fornication” with each other.
- In another post, it is interesting that a white person may actually be more prone to remarry than a black person, and a black person more than an Asian person.
You may wish to study into the “marriage” rates here: https://legaljobs.io/blog/divorce-rate-in-america/#:~:text=Fewer%20couples%20choose%20to%20marry,in%20the%20U.S.%20each%20year.
We must remember that although we assume that a man and a woman united in a “marriage” that is considered a “first” union of the couple, in reality there may be problems that make such a “marriage” wrong and sinful before God.
Let’s notice these points:
Second marriages have a higher rate of divorce.
While the rate for first marriages is 40%-50%, second marriage statistics show this increases to 67% for second marriages and a whopping 75% for third marriages. When it comes to a happy union, the third time clearly isn’t a charm.
The average length of a marriage in the US is 8.2 years.
Whilst the national average marriage length is just over eight years, couples in New York typically have the longest-lasting unions. The typical marriage in the Empire State lasts for 12.2 years, which is significantly higher than the national average. In fact, some scholars estimate that the actual number is closer to seven years, as the divorce process can take around one year to complete.
US divorce rates are higher than those of other continents.
Comparative analysis shows that divorce rates in America are higher than in Europe.
Now:
Some European countries have fairly similar divorce rates to those in the US, while others have a far lower national divorce average. For Europe as a whole, this average falls below the respective US divorce rate.
The US has one of the highest crude divorce rates in the world.
With a crude divorce rate of 2.9 per 1,000 people, the of divorce in America is more common than in many other countries, including Australia, Canada, China, France, Germany, Italy, and Mexico.
America has the third highest divorce rate in the world.
According to the United Nations, the Maldives has the highest divorce rate, with 10.97 divorces taking place per 1,000 people each year. Belarus has the second highest worldwide divorce rate, with 4.63 per 1,000, followed by the US.
Conclusion
The divorce rate in America provides a snapshot of the changing institute of marriage and the views of average Americans.
Maybe with all of these figures, you are wondering whether there are any marriages that are good, Biblical, and pleasing to God. Yes, there are. The above figures do show a serious issue and many evil relationships, still in the midst of these statistics we find certain positive aspects. Let’s not miss them.
Even when there is a relationship (or shall we say a “marriage”) there will be problems that need to be addressed. We hope to address at least some of these on this website. Even now, we hope that you will find some of these articles that are helpful. Yet we realize that if two people, unmarried, or unsaved, or of the same gender, are united and they call this a “marriage” or assume that it is a “marriage,” there will be serious problems or conflicts. Many of these unions actually need to be broken and the couple needs to be content in celibacy. As Jesus our Lord has pointed out, some people have chosen to live apart for the sake of “the kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:12).
We hope that you are reading this while there is still hope and that your union may be salvaged. You may need to begin again with all of the sin wiped out in order to be “new creatures” and have a new relationship, a new life, and a new beginning (2 Corinthians 5:17). Our life on earth is far too brief to live in sin and refuse to live in submission to God and His perfect will. Yes, you may have “blown it” in the past and your life may be “ruined” in comparison to what it should have been. But, with God’s supernatural help and His knowledge of the situation and your willingness to look to Him, He will help you to overcome and find happiness in life. May God bless you today through this maze of worldliness and misery and give you the peace and joy that comes through the Lord Jesus!
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