It is Elementary!

The Matter of Divorce and Remarriage and Adultery

Sometimes we learn of something from the Word of God and assume that it is clear not only to us but to all who are able to read! But we are not so naïve to believe this. When it comes to the matter of marriage and divorce, what are the options? When it comes to the matter of seeking God’s will and living in adultery, what would God want?

We may open the Scriptures and the point seems very clear to us. But then we think and learn that not everyone sees it as we do. What seems quite plain and clear just isn’t accepted by many thousands of people—even millions of people.

You are probably wondering what strange teaching of Scripture might be like this. At the risk of sounding like we are going over something again and again, let’s just mention what we (and surely you) have seen. We know that it is quite plain that if someone divorces his wife (or a woman divorces her husband) and marries another person, they both commit adultery. For instance, the Lord Jesus declared, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery” (Mark 10:11-12).

Of course, we might also want to read other passages, such as Matthew 5:31-32; 19:9; Luke 16:18; Romans 7:2-3. When it comes to the meaning of divorcing and remarrying, we know that there can be an issue, but the basic teaching is clear. To repeat, if a man divorces his wife and marries another woman, he commits adultery against her. Is this difficult? It may be difficult so apply or obey, but is it difficult to understand? We think not.

As we travel through life and take note of the various married couples, we are disappointed, chagrinned, and even grieved. The TV, movies, entertainment, education, and the person living in the home next to you, assume that remarriage is right and even the wise thing to do! They think, we want all married couples to have lives of happiness and fulfillment. We want them to find or make a family in which each person gives instead of gets. We want them to prepare for marriage perhaps as a teenager, then later marry, and live together in wedded bliss. We want such couples to have children and raise them in the ways of God. In all cases, of course, if God doesn’t provide for their early death, we assume that they will finally come to the end of their days.

Is this the form of marriage that you would want and that you planned for? In fact, is this the kind of marriage and family you are in right now? Sadly, the type of marriage we are describing is often beset with trouble. There may be financial problems, with one of the couples unable to work or unable to find a godly job. Or maybe the woman refuses to take a job because of Titus 2:3-4.  The husband may be unable to find a righteous job, thus he hunts and hunts and is unable to find work. It may be that he could marry, have one or more children—but each of these children may have serious health issues. If he is without insurance, the couple must face these troubles alone.

And, of course, we realize that one or more of these children may turn from the Lord and His ways. They may live in debauchery! Further, this couple may be filled with strife, bitterness, animosity, physical violence, and emotional turmoil! What about the couple that constantly has fighting or verbal abuse? We can see that all of this poses a challenge—a serious one—that the couple has many times tried to solve but can’t seem to do so. How sad.

We know that God considers this to be a serious matter. For instance, suppose that a husband marries a twice-married woman, or a woman marries a twice-married man. What are they to do? According to Jesus, they are living in adultery—which is a very serious matter. We can’t live in known, unrepentant adultery and still expect to be received into the bliss of God’s eternal presence. But if they are already remarried and then recognize that they are in sin, what are they to do? Even if they repent of this adultery, won’t it be difficult for them to live a new life and begin anew? Further, maybe the husband or wife realizes that this fornication (or adultery) is present, but you and I both know that it is easier to fall into sin than it is to be free from such sin!

Thus, we realize that some (or many) couples who profess to be “Christians” have turned from their mates and married another. Of course, we must admit that some of these previously-married couples have tried to leave the adulterous “marriage” and gone to another relationship. Others are simply happy with their present marriage and want to depend on God’s grace. They know what Jesus has said but they probably assume that God’s grace will cover their present adultery.

Thus, they want to continue the relationship and proceed to go to the end of their life and death, depending on salvation through Jesus, and are quite content to face the future as they now are. Besides, they know that to repent of this sin would be very hard on their adulterous partner. And they realize that this could cause disruption with their present family. The family may call into total disruption. They, therefore, ask, “What can we do in this situation?”

We do know that a situation arose in Israel that, in one respect, resembled what we are discussing. Notice this issue:

After the Jews’ return to Jerusalem at the end of the Babylonian Captivity, Ezra, one of the leaders of the people, was given some bad news: “The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighboring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians and Amorites. They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness” (Ezra 9:1–2).

These marriages with people of other nations that worshiped false gods were forbidden in the Law of Moses (Deuteronomy 7:3–4). Ezra’s heart was grieved. He tore his tunic and cloak, pulled hair from his head and beard, “and sat down appalled” (Ezra 9:3). Idolatry was one of the sins that had resulted in Judah’s being conquered by Babylon. Now, upon their return to the Promised Land, Judah was again toying with the same sin.

In Ezra 10:2–3, as Ezra was praying, a large group of Israelites came to him in repentance. They made a proposal to rectify the situation: “We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around us. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel. Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children, in accordance with the counsel of my lord and of those who fear the commands of our God. Let it be done according to the Law.” The purpose of this covenant would be to once again set apart the Jewish people as fully devoted to the Lord and remove all connections with those who worshiped other gods. The agreement required the men of Judah to divorce their pagan wives.

Ezra agreed that this covenant was the proper course of action. He commanded, “You have been unfaithful; you have married foreign women, adding to Israel’s guilt. Now honor the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives” (Ezra 10:10–11).

As we read about this issue, I suppose that one easy answer would be that in the OT incident, God required the separation of faithful Israelite men from pagan wives. But is this really a parallel?

The issue that we are discussing has to do with men who are committing adultery with women (or vice versa). What shall we do? What is God’s will?  It does seem that in this case, the partners are “married” to another person and are required to conduct their lives of purity. Otherwise, they continue to be in a state of adultery.

What would you think? What should be done? What would God want you to do and what are you willing to do? We know that a bit of blessing here and now (even if it be 50 or 60 years of utter bliss) is not worth comparing with an eternity to come!  What are you willing to do and what should I be willing to do in order to please God and to establish our salvation through Christ? What do you think? The answer seems “elementary” but we know that millions of people struggle with the answer.  Do you think that God ever wants you to do difficult things for the sake of Christ? Does He sometimes require us to do things that others may condemn or think that they will have and answers from God’s own word? Are you willing to do God’s will regardless of the difficulties or consequences?