Richard Hollerman

Many husbands are cruel, worldly, evil, and unkind. They are not worthy of being called a Husband! Some are gone. Others are lazy. And some are harsh to the wife and others. We also realize that some husbands are in their second marriage or they have married someone who was in a second marriage and that without justifiable reasons for a previous divorce. We find this situation very sad and even lamentable.

We know that some husbands refuse to have children or have only one or two. And sometimes these are from another marriage partner or another partner, per se. In other words, we realize that not all women are “lily white” in their attitudes and demeanor. Rather they may have married to a man who is not worthy of being called a Husband! All of this is true and we must acknowledge this—if we are to be truthful!

Yet we wanted to say a few words not on marriage and not on husbands, but on wives. Do we really realize what God has said about wives and their relationship to their husband (providing they may be legitimately married to a man)?

Let’s go to the Scriptures (which is a good place to start). In 1 Corinthians 11:3 we read that “Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.” In other words, just as God is the “head” of Christ so the man or the husband is the “head” of his wife. Do we really believe this and do we follow it?

Next, in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 11), we read that the “man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; and indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but the woman for the man’s sake” (vv. 8-9). Do we really believe this and do we follow it? Do we acknowledge that the woman originates from the man and not vice versa? And do we realize also that the woman was created for the man’s sake and not the man (or husband) for the woman’s sake (or wife’s sake)? We need to be reminded that this is God speaking and not some man or woman! He speaks with authority.

Let’s also be reminded of the scripture that says: “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife. . . . As the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. . . . the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:22=24, 33b). Let’s again be reminded of what this passage is saying.

Who is to be “subject” to whom? According to the modern day woman, we know that in America and in many other nations of the world, the woman or wife is not at all subject to her husband. This is called “egalitarianism” rather than “complementarianism.” (The Greek is kephale, “head”.) But the Word actually says, whether we like it or not, that the woman is to be “subject” (or submissive, the same Greek term is used) to her husband. We know that in Europe, in America, and in many other countries of this world, this teaching is anathema, but God is the One who Authored this. By the way, we need to see that the wife is to be subject to her husband “as to the Lord.”

 

Do you really follow the Lord? If so, Scripture says that you need to subject yourself also to Jesus! This is the Word of God, and it clearly says that the wife is to be “subject” or “submissive” to her husband.

What comes next? The husband is the “head” of the wife (v. 23)! What? How can this be, but it is! The word “head” doesn’t mean that the wife “comes from” the husband or has the “origin” in the husband, but the Greek word means “authority” or “headship.” (See earlier, the meaning of kephale.). The wife is to recognize her husband as her “authority” and not vice versa, as is common in the Western world. According to verse 24, the wife is to be “subject” to her husband “in everything”! Wait a minute. In everything? Yes, this is what the verse reads, “in everything.” She is to be submissive to her husband in everything. If we don’t understand this, we need to seek out understanding!

Therefore, as a wife “respects” her husband or is “reverent” toward him, she needs to submit to him. Yes, he may be harsh, unkind, and even evil, but she married him and she needs to submit to him in everything. By the way, it is good to notice that in Colossians 3:18 again the Scriptures say that she is to be “subject” to her husband. Likewise, in Titus 2:5 we read that the wife is to be “subject” to her husband. Why? “So that the word of God will not be dishonored” (v. 5).

We also come to 1 Peter 3 where we read that the wife is to be “submissive” to the wife but this is coupled with her modest adornment and “chaste” and “respectful behavior” (see verses 1-4). The wife (as she is described here) must have a “gentle and quiet spirit” (vv. 4-5) that will facilitate the submissive spirit that we are referring to here.

We know that with this attitude and spirit, the wife will be able to maintain her kind, respectful, and submissive sweetness that will “win” her husband by his sweetness and pleasantness. Isn’t this what you want—deep inside? And the husband (if he is worth anything) is to be kind and loving, patient and agreeable, in everything! With this attitude, the marriage will be what God wants.