How are you raising your Children?

Richard Hollerman

Probably many of us are acquainted with the inspired Word that encourage us, “Do not provoke our children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). You may reply, “I am not provoking my sons and daughters to anger,” and what else is there?

Consider other translations: “Nurture them in the chastening and admonition” (ASV). The TCNT has: “With Christian discipline and instruction.” The NEB has: “. . . with the sort of education and counsel the Lord approves.”  The NIV has, “Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” And the ESV has: “Bing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The NASB is what is found in the first rendering. And the old KJV or Authorized version has, “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

There is not a great amount of difference in these various renderings. “ “Discipline” is from the Greek, paidea, and this denotes “the training of a child, including instruction” (Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, “chastening”). It means, “to teach, educate” and can also mean, “to chastern, punish” (Mounce’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words).”

And “Instruction” is from the Greek nouthesia and means, “to put in mind, admonish” (Vine). Indeed, this is what our children need! They need to be admonished in the things of God!

We know (and you do also) that most children, in whatever country they come from, seemingly are raised to become just what their friends and family members deem right. They are taught in school to become the kind of children that other children are. But is this right when the society around them and us in particular is different from the ways of God? We think that these children will become what others may think proper. But this would be far different from what God would want!

Let’s see what God has commanded in the book of Proverbs.  We know that this is a practical place to begin. If we wish to encourage our sons and daughters to follow our instructions and walk in the ways of God, we go to this very encouraging book.

For instance, in Proverbs 1:8, we read this: “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Here children But, of course, we would refer to the things that are right. Sadly, in our day, we know that much that parents teach their children is wrong! are encouraged to submit to both their father and mother.

Then, in 4:1 we read, “Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding.” Do our children do this? Do we directly require them to hear the “instruction” of their father? Or what about 6:20: “My son, observe the commandment of our father, and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.”

In this day of laxity, at least in America, we wonder if we follow these instructions! Do we require obedience? Do we want our sons and daughters to pursue a course of obedience to a father and mother? Or are we intent on giving them a cell phone, turning on the TV for them to watch entertaining but worldly programs, or giving them a ball and glove so that they might play baseball, football, tennis, or some other game with others?

We also find this dual command in 10:1: “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother.” What do we want: a wise or a foolish son (and daughter)? Are we teaching and training them to this end? Or are they like 98 to 99 percent of other children who are following the ways of the world—and not the ways of God? Similar encouragement for parents would be found in 15:20: “A wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother.” What kind of child do we want to have? How are we teaching him or her? Do we want little Johnny or Mary to be “wise” or “foolish”?

Let us continue with this counsel: “A foolish son is a grief to his father and bitterness to her who bore him” (17:25). How often we know that parents have had both grief and bitterness in their children! In fact, we are sure that some parents are disappointed in their children and wish that they had none! And now it is too late! Again, we read, “A foolish son is destruction to his father” (19:13a). Is this the way it is with your own family? We also read, “A man who loves wisdom makes his father glad” (29:3a). I wonder how many fathers are sad that they have a foolish son rather than a wise one?

Another scripture is often quoted that I wondered about: “The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it” (30:17). Sadly, we are living in a world in which children are disobedient, rebellious, and evil in many ways. So many sons and daughters “mock” a father and “scorn” a mother. Surely such a father or mother hates this sort of response of the children they brought into the world!

We get the impression from all of this that the parents’ children must learn to obey and submit to their parents. Hopefully, they will learn to love and respect their father and mother. Obedience is one thing but it is absolutely vital that they come to love their parents too. Surely, this love must be coupled with a loyalty to them under all circumstances. We realize that some parents (either the father or mother) are not respectable, not kind and considerate, and not true and faithful. The Christian youth must learn to love and obey under all circumstances (but, of course, must refuse to obey unjust, dishonest, and sinful commands—cf. Acts 5:29).

What about you, father and mother? You brought Johnny or Mary into the world, but are you now teaching and training them? Do you keep Proverbs in mind and also the pivotal passage of Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:20-21 as well as

We encourage you to read and heed such passages as 1 Thessalonians 2:7 and 11; Psalm 103:13; Hebrews 12:5,11; Psalm 127:3-5; and similar ones. These and others have been given by God to help parents as well as children to do the will of God from the heart. Let us read with understanding and seek the Lord’s guidance in this vital matter! Children have been given by God and we are responsible to raise them in the nurture and discipline” of the Lord!