Dwelling in a Corner

Richard Hollerman

We know that there is much conflict and disagreements in marriage and this is nothing new. We might think that this something that is to be dated to the 2000s but it was true when Solomon penned his words about 950 BC. Let’s see what he said.

At this time, we only want to deal with a brief examination of what this “wise man” said regarding living a married life. Sometime in the future we may deal with the husband but today we wish to only deal with those passages from the Scriptures that deal with the wife. Particularly we are referring to a few passages in Proverbs, written by this “wise man” of Isael.

It is true that Solomon was able to say, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). However, we do know that this king was also foolish (or so it would seem) for he married some 700 wives and had 300 concubines. But this does digress from the purpose of this short essay. We want to focus on his experience in marriage here.

First, we go to Proverbs 19:13b where we read, “The contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.” Can you imagine this? Suppose you are lying down and trying to sleep but the rain outside can be heard and there is a constant “dripping.” Drip, drip, drip, and drip it goes and you may not be able to sleep. The writer found that his wife was “contentious” and this was like the constant dripping.

Contention means “a struggling together in opposition; strife, conflict” or “a striving in rivalry” (Random House Webster’s College Dictionary). He found that in marriage this sort of strife and conflict with his wife was “a constant dripping.” Let’s do what we can to avoid this kind of relationship! And let’s do what we can to avoid this sort of experience!

A couple of chapters later, the same author wrote, “It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Proverbs 21:9). In other words, he found that he would rather live on a rooftop (which many houses would have provided in those days) than to live with a contentious woman. We assume that he is speaking of his wife. He wanted to avoid the strife and conflict associated with a wife who was contentious in many ways. Let’s seek to avoid this sort of attitude!

Later in the same chapter, Solomon wrote, “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman” (Proverbs 21:19). Not only was his desire for a roof to avoid the constant strife but he even longed for  a desert land! This time, he describes the wife also as a “vexing” woman. Vexing has to do with irritating, annoying, provocative, tormenting, troublesome, or distressing. He seems to be unable to deal with this constant irritation and announced that he found in this relationship. Do we seek to avoid this sort of relationship ourselves? Do we try to avoid this attitude—whether you are a husband or a wife?

Another passage would be Proverbs 25:24: “It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” As in the other examples, Solomon wanted to “run away” from the constant strife that this marriage brought to him. It was just “too much” for him and we might say the same—that it is too much for us!

A further description of this circumstance is found at Proverbs 28:15: “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike.” Again we read of a constant “dripping” and how this reminds him of the contentions or strife that he found in the woman of his choosing.

We need not labor this further but we do want to emphasize that the “contentions” of a wife are a steady source of pain, anguish, and hurt. This strife that the relationship brought to him again and again was a sad experience that he wanted to escape. But he couldn’t. (Obviously, the same could be said of an irresponsible husband.)

Whether we may be a husband or a wife in such a relationship, let us do what we can to avoid the anguish, the pain, the grief, the torment, and the constant distress that such a relationship brings.

 

We don’t want to be like those in the world who just walk away from a relationship and go our own way. This is the way of the world and not the way of godliness. Rather, let’s search the Scriptures to determine the role of the godly wife and the role of the godly husband—and determine to fulfill this, by God’s grace and power.