Children, Love and Honor Your Parents

Richard Hollerman

As a Christian who seeks to follow in the steps of Jesus, I can see very much the need to love our parents. Of course, as we read of this need in the Scriptures—God’s divine Word—we can see that this love includes more than what we might originally mean by “love.”

As we work our way through the writings of the New Covenant (the New Testament), we can see that there are scattered instructions given to children as to how they are to relate to their parents. Let’s look at a few of these.

Notice first, Matthew 15:4-6: “God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and “He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God.” He is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.” God’s command was the “honor” both father and mother but these “theologians” had ways to get around God’s command! (Notice also 15:7-9.)

Today, it would seem that many or actually most children are disobeying their parents, speaking evil of them, ridiculing them, rejecting them, and refusing to love them. What is happening? Why is there such disrespect of parents in our age?

Here is another clear command: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. . .” (Ephesians 6:1-3). This is so clear! But how many children today “obey” this command, including the fact that this is related to the command to honor your parents! Do children today “obey” and “honor” their parents—or do they violate such commands? Do they treat a command such as this as one without consequences. No, sadly, when one refuses to obey our parents, God says that the outcome is death!

Notice now another command often violated: “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). Anytime I see a command that says we are to be “well-pleasing to the Lord,” that is exactly what we need to do! Children, are you “obedient” to your parents “in all things”? (Obviously, if they command you to disobey the Lord or violate His will, we must kindly but firmly decline (Acts 5:29).

Maybe we wonder whether these comments to obey our parents are for today. Indeed, they are! Consider Jesus Himself. Scripture says that Jesus “continued in subjection to them” (his parents) (Luke 2:51). To be in subjection to someone is to obey that person. Although Jesus was the Creator of the universe, He knew that in His limited period in the flesh, He was to be in subjection to his father and mother. If this is what our Lord and Savior determined to do, we should do!

Our Lord was in subjection from age 12 to about 30, when he began to travel about Israel as a teacher and preacher. It is true that when Jesus was moving about Israel and teaching the people, when His mother and family wanted to speak to Him, He objected and asked, “Who is My mother and who are my brothers?” He then said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:48-50). But we know this priority of following the ways of God would not at all be the reason why so many boys and girls abjectly refuse to honor their parents!

We can know further how important it is that we obey our parents by noticing the serious warnings against disobeying our father and mother. For example, the Gentiles who were opposed to God were guilty of many different sins (cf. Romans 1:24-32). One of these would be those who were “disobedient to parents” (v. 30). Again, Paul speaks of the “difficult times” that were coming. One characteristic would be that people would be “disobedient to parents” (2 Timothy 3:2). Just as it is God’s will that His children are “obedient to parents,” so those who oppose Him and His way of life are “disobedient to parents”!

As we pointed out earlier, this obedience must never be submission to parents that causes sin. We are never to sin—for the sake of parents, for the sake of the civil government, for the sake of our earthly employer, or any other entity. We must always submit to God and this will, at times, may mean that we are sometimes insubordinate to earthly authorities!

Think about it. Think about your own life and the period of time that you lived at home. Were you always obedient to your parents? Did you always honor your father and mother? Were you entirely submissive to them? Regarding your own family—perhaps since you have married and have your own sons and daughters—do they always submit to you? Do they obey your wishes? Are they entirely obedient to your desires in all circumstances?

In short, do your sons and daughters always love and honor you? Do they entirely love and honor your husband or wife? Remember, they will one day give an account for their obedience or disobedience. Teach them well! Teach them now!