Boyfriend? Girlfriend?

Richard Hollerman

Probably many of you know that I have an article on our website (www.Truediscipleship.com) on Boyfriends and Girlfriends. I was reminded of this as I saw (on the cell phone) a woman who was speaking of her five-year-old son. She referred to her “boyfriend” as she described her story.

As she described her account I had to think of what I had written regarding having a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend. She so casually spoke of her “boyfriend” with whom she was living. But this is something that we often hear these days. Someone “lives” with a “boyfriend” or has a “relationship” with his “girlfriend.” But what would God think of this arrangement?

We know that God intends one man and one woman to marry and become “one” in this marriage (see Genesis 1:26ff). There should be no contact (sexual, especially) before marriage. But today, we hear freely spoken of a person’s boyfriend or girlfriend.

If one has a boyfriend, she should keep her hands off him, and if he has a girlfriend then he should keep his hands off her. This is something that is intended for marriage alone and not for a “premarital” or a “pre-marriage” arrangement. But today, with the “freedom” and sexual looseness that is common place, we may find that someone “lives” with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Or a boyfriend or girlfriend is in the same house or bedroom as the other.

This must not be the case! In marriage, the husband is the “head” of the wife and the wife is to be submissive to the husband. (See Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-19). We know that this is something that feminists will object to but, if he or she agrees with what God has revealed, we know that it is true.

But this means, on the one hand that God would have a boy and girl, or a man and woman, to be in harmony and work for the same goals, but have different functions! This is the key and we must keep this in mind. The man and woman are created equal and we must respect this equality. But we must remember that God has given us different functions and this too is something that we must keep in mind.

Thus, let us keep this in mind: God wants two people to live in harmony with each other but He also wants there to be different functions. Two people must never have a “relationship” before marriage. And they must not call each other with a term that is not merely a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” They are not “husband” and “wife” and will not be unless God provides.

A girl must not say that her boyfriend is “living” with her and vice versa. She is not to “live with” him before marriage. Sadly, we know that some have been mistaken and are sorry that they made such a decision (to marry) but later they regretted this. We have known of couples who have partaken of marital relationships before marriage, then married, and lived to regret this!

We hope that this doesn’t describe you! But if it does, now is the time to repent and get right with God and with your friend. God only wants what is good for you and will provide for you at the proper time. Now before.