Seeking God

My Life through the years

Part 20

As we continued year by year through the past installment, I was “locked” in a cold and lonely building in a big city and I didn’t know how to get out!

Maybe this is a good time to add a few items in my life. In some respects, I did want children of my own. Some people are raised as single children, with no siblings. Others are raised in a large family of 10, or 12, or more. I was raised in a typical family of three. However, as you know, from an early age, I had a dream of serving the Lord and this was manifested in many ways.

One of those was that I would study and learn which would enable me to teach and preach. This would enable me to not only bless and help small groups of brothers and sisters in various local communities but I thought that God would lead me out to a wider circle of saints in the state, in the country, and even in the world. I didn’t know how this could happen or if it would happen, but this was my “dream” for the future.

In order to prepare myself for this monumental task, I wanted to study and prepare and this was to take much time and effort. You know of how much I traveled, learned, and studied for some years. The years continued and I continued to age, as you know. I recall how a couple visited where I was living and shared their desire for children but their decision to not have them because they thought the end had come, thus they wanted to be prepared.

I remembered what Scripture says in Genesis 1:28: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” Then I also remember the words of God after the worldwide flood: “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth” (Genesis 9:1). This seems to be God’s heart desire. Yet I realize that sometimes the Bible presents a different picture.  Think of Isaac. Think of Noah himself. Various people in the New Testament were celibate or must have been celibate (Jesus, Paul, maybe Timothy, Titus, Mary, Martha, Lazarus, Mary Magdaline, Barnabas, etc). But through history, sometimes there were families of one or possibly two children, while others were larger. It seems that there was a variety.

As I reasoned within myself (and this can be a difficult thing to do, Proverbs 3:5-6), it seemed the best to hold off having children or not even having children. I couldn’t see how a child or many children would fit into the lifestyle that I envisioned for my future and the future of my wife (if God even gave a wife). Additionally, the school system was broken and even corrupt and this seemed to preclude having children.

This went on for a few years but then came Texas and my stay there, particularly in the rental house at Sheridan Road. I began listening to Focus on the Family (because of my many time constraints there which I’ve detailed) and one of the two guests had written various books that showed how godly families could have many children and teach and train them at home. I think that one of their books was entitled Home Grown Kids. I’m not even sure of this is one of the book I read, but it does show that they envisioned families (of Christians) having many children but teaching them all at home. Yes, this would mean a lot of work especially by the mothers, but it did seem feasible.

I began to read and buy books and also articles that had to do with home-schooling as well as setting up a “Christian” school (which was somewhat different from what they were presenting). In time, I thought that God might enable me to begin a private school (with the help of true believers) and we all could teach our children in a careful, protected, and “insulated” environment. Sin and worldliness would be excluded. This now seems idealistic but it did show that it was possible to keep our children from the worldly, secularistic, and wicked environment of the public schools while teaching and training them at home.

Do you see a problem here? I wasn’t even married! Further, if my “dream” was to materialize and I would be traveling for many months of the year, even if God did provide an earnest wife, how was all of this to transpire? I didn’t know.

As the years did pass by, more and more parents were teaching their children at home. They shunned private schooling and (of course) secular and worldly schooling, but they were providing for their children in a Christian way. Beginning in about 1988 or 1990, I attended the yearly “home school convention” that was held locally. Further, I found this to be a fruitful place to reach out and find eager “Christian” people, some with relatively larger families. I suppose that I might have gone for 10 or 12 years (for outreach, and maybe 28 years altogether).

Although my lack of fellowship and the present “covid” crisis has stopped this outreach, I did involve myself in this for perhaps 25 or 28 years. In fact, an additional home school convention began locally about 8 or 9 years ago. Was this a solution? Children could be trained and taught the ways of God, they would have the encouragement and knowledge that they needed, and they would be able to keep their children from evil influences of the world.

Along with this huge task, I had hoped and thought that God would “snatch” me and other believers from the urban setting of Fort Worth and take us to a more rural area to accomplish all of this. Providing God would use this means, I thought that he would provide a more conducive setting for His work. Yes, there continued to be need in the city and this we must not overlook or deny, but to live and work we needed another setting. Thus, I thought that He would provide another place, perhaps 20 miles, or 30 miles or 80 miles (I didn’t know which) to the west. He would give perhaps 20 or 40 acres of land, a good structure or “house” could be erected, and this might be about 3000 square feet or even 5000 square feet.

This building or “house” would give the possibility to have 5 to 10 “bedrooms,” a large meeting room for the saints, a huge work room, several “libraries,” and much more. On the outside, there would be plenty of room for gardening—and this would be for raising nutritious fruits, vegetables, and grains for the disciples. It would also be a place for many children to work, grow, and learn. Along with this “garden” area, there would need to be some acres for grazing, for forested area for walking, running, and praying. There would be many animals, as God would provide.

If this were actually multiple acres, believers could come and worship and study and learn. They might stay for a day, a week, a month, or longer. I don’t know, but perhaps it would be feasible for some families to stay and put down their roots. There could then be either family-oriented home teaching, or even a more structured teaching and learning place.

But, as you can see, this would take many thousands of dollars. It could be implemented with willing hands and knowledgeable minds and hearts. Hopefully, the secular “authorities” would agree to this arrangement. With Acts 5:29 and 4:19-20 in mind, even if they didn’t agree, the saints may do what they needed to do to implement such a place. But was this God’s will? I had no money at all and it seems that in many circumstances, other willing believers would be poor and unable to finance such a lucrative undertaking.

And as we know, some Christian families may have no children or only two or three children (or even none). And instead of our envisioned families of parents being willing participants, we know that in some cases, only the husbands or perhaps only the wives would be interested. Further yet, everyone would need some sort of trade or job that would be income-producing. This would be for their own needs and that of others. Further yet, some families may be in their twenties but others may be in their thirties or forties or even older. Many roadblocks would be there and these would need to be overcome, with God’s help and His grace.

Again, this didn’t solve the fact that God still had not given me a wife or even children! I was still open to this and wanted this, but it depended on God’s cooperation and willingness.

Hopefully, we’ll add to this in the next installment. Please join us.