In a Relationship?

Has it been dozens of times or perhaps even hundreds of times? So often I have read comments that proudly proclaim that the writer is neither “single” nor “celibate” nor “married,” but the person is “in a relationship.”

Just what do they mean by this statement? I don’t know for sure, but it seems to be saying that the writer is not married, but is attached to another person (a man or woman) and the person wants us to know that he or she is unavailable. He or she is “in a relationship” with another person. Generally, this would refer to another of the opposite sex or gender, but occasionally today it may mean that the person is in a homosexual relationship.

Personally, we can’t understand. Years ago—and we refer to not many years ago—people would just say that they are either married or unmarried. A person would not think of saying that they have a “relationship” with one of the opposite sex and that was all they meant. If one were engaged (or betrothed) to a person of the opposite sex, this was all that was meant.

But today, we have people publicly proclaiming that they have a “relationship” with someone. They may even “live with” (or commit continual fornication) a person of the opposite sex, thus they are “in a relationship” with that person. We must not “read into” what a person means, for someone may be pleased to be engaged to such-and-such a person. But generally surely people mean something more than this.

We are living in a new period with different “rules” of engagement. It would seem that most people don’t have shame to merely “be in a relationship” with someone and have a sexual relationship with that person. We must be cautious. There may be a few—a very few—who merely mean that they know someone and want to keep from all others. But, sadly, most people are sadly advertising that they have a sexual “relationship” with a person of the opposite (or even same!) sex/gender.

Those who know the Word of God are aware that those who commit fornication or adultery will not inherit or enter the kingdom of God (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). God will judge such people severely (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture is clear that “the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body” (1 Corinthians 6:13). We read further, “Flee immorality” (v. 18a). In other words, run from fornication, from all sexual contact with another person! Scripture continues: “You have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body” (v. 20).

Many other passages of Scripture can supplement this. We read that an “immoral” person has no inheritance in “the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:5). The “wrath of God” will come upon those who commit fornication and other sins (v. 6). Our body is to be “dead” to “immorality” or fornication (Colossians 3:5-6). We are to “abstain” from “sexual immorality” or fornication (1 Thessalonians 4:3; cf. vv. 1-8). Those who commit fornication will be sent to an eternal hell (cf. Revelation 21:8).

This shows that we must be careful about either being in a “relationship” or entering a relationship, if that is a sexual one.  It is better not to even say that we are “in a relationship” for this suggests that we are committing fornication or having a “sexual relationship” and probably also suggests that we realize that we will go to hell or not enter God’s marvelous kingdom!

Let us beware of these facts and abstain from them!  If we merely are acquainted with a person of the opposite sex, these words may be permissible. However, we assume that in 99% or more of cases, that person is admitting publicly that he or she is committing fornication and expects to enter eternal torment. Let us beware! Let us abstain! Let us find more appropriate words to share the truth about our friendships.