A Disobedient Husband

Man sitting

A Disobedient Husband

A Disobedient Husband

Question

Thank you for your explanation; this really helps me. But what do I do if my husband  doesn’t  listen to me, goes to church on Wednesday  and  Sunday  but doesn’t  read the Bible and pray, and doesn’t  want to forsake  his addicting and destructive  habits which costs  a lot of money, and goes to church only to appease me? I’ve been  praying  for too long.

Answser

Hello to you, my friend….

I’m very glad that you chose to write to True Discipleship and share your predicament. I believe that marital differences and marital division are problems that weigh heavy on numerous sincere women in this country and through the world.

When we study Scripture and read the instructions that God gives in dealing with these marital issues, we may assume that all will be well. Only if we submit ourselves to the Word of God, will all go well and both husband and wife will be united in Christ and united with each other.

This is the way it is supposed to work, but you have found and thousands of others have discovered that differences do not always disappear.  Here are a few comments that must be applied in each situation, according to the need:

  1. We must always put God first in every situation. You know the Scriptures–that we are to seek the kingdom of God first (Matthew 6:33). Jesus is to have first place in all things (Colossians 1:18), and the greatest of all commands is to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:28-31).
  2. The wife is to submit to her husband. This includes a saved and obedient husband (apparently presupposed in Ephesians 5:22-33) as well as a disobedient or even unsaved husband (1 Peter 3:1ff).
  3. There is an exception to the obedience that the wife is to render. God must come before the husband. While some theology today would say that the wife must even sin for her husband, this is a false doctrine that must be repudiated. When there is a conflict between what a husband wants and what God wants, a wife must always put God first. “We must obey God rather than man” (Acts 5:29; see 4:18-19).
  4. A wife can encourage her husband to read his Bible, to pray, to seek God’s will, to instruct the children, to be a good example to the family, and much more. Of course, this is what a husband/father should be and do. But even if he doesn’t do what he should, the wife should not become bitter, resentful, angry, or rebellious. She is still required to submit–as far as doing so doesn’t conflict with the will of God.
  5. The wife should seek God and His will herself. Regardless of a husband’s response or lack of response, the wife must become the most loving, kind, and patient person possible. She is to add the various virtues that God seeks in our life (see 1 Peter 3:3-4; 2 Peter 1:5-11; Galatians 5:22-24). She should pray that God will break through the husband’s exterior and bring him to repentance and a seeking after God.
  6. Finally, the wife should make sure of her own salvation. Many wives live an exemplary life but they simply have not genuinely been saved. Consider this yourself. You will find many articles on this website (www.Truediscipleship.com) that should help you.

I hope that these thoughts will help you to find a solution to your dilemma. Remember that God loves you and wants to bring comfort to your heart as you carry out His will in practical ways in your marriage.

–Richard Hollerman

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